Why Do I Bother?

I don't get clubbing.

Every time I go I end up having a pretty dull time, and lose a lot of money paying for overpriced drinks and the inevitable taxi ride home.

There are just so many things about clubbing that just don't work for me, matter of fact, if it wasn't for the scantily clad women dancing and the alcohol, I probably wouldn't have bothered even considering going clubbing ever. Oddly enough, a lot of things about clubbing are just plain fucked up.

Let's start with the obvious.

Dancing

I hate dancing. With a passion.

Not only do I completely suck at it, but I think it's a completely pointless exercise that would be considered completely retarded if you took it out of context. Think about it, you've got a group of people making somewhat random movements to music (although a lot of the time it's not in time to the music, especially in cases like mine) that would look absolutely stupid if done independently. Especially the whole shuffling thing.

Although the pants guys wear whilst shuffling are highly amusing, but that's another issue for another rant.

A lot of people who can dance manage to look like complete pricks whilst doing it too. When I last went clubbing (on Friday night) there was this one guy who made a habit of standing in the middle of the dancefloor and pointing at the DJ booth for no apparent reason for some period of time. Then you have the guy who had the orange shirt who was obviously high on something, or the three girls in what was essentially their underwear and a cropped little tutu. . . thing who got onto the raised platforms at the same time and started dancing together.

Okay, they didn't look like pricks, but it was definitely worth mentioning as a weird little event.

Then there's the music.

The majority of the time it's half-assed remixes of shitty pop/hip hop music that listening to is only slightly better than sticking an ice pick repeatedly up my nose. The rest of the time it's some weird techno shit I just don't get. I guess it's unreasonable to expect to hear Sonata Arctica in a club, but seriously . . . damn.

There's a reason the only time I listen to the radio is when there's nothing else whatsoever to listen to, and even then I listen to Triple J so I don't have to put up with the complete and utter shit that plays on most commercial radio stations, even if a few things manage to sneak onto Triple J that suck as much, if not more than shit on stations like Nova.

Then there's the whole socialising thing. I just don't understand how people are able to socialise properly in a nightclub when it's so loud in there you can barely hear what's being said. I'm sure an experienced nightclub goer might be able to comprehend the complexities of conversing in a place like that, but more I think it's just a lot more likely that conversational skills are not what people are looking for. Seeing as I much prefer a girl who can talk about topics that interest me, or at least talk about topics in a way that interests me, seems a little hard for me to see how my normal methods of approach exactly work.

Actually, they don't work outside of nightclubs either, but there is slightly less failure outside of nightclubs.

Throw in various complaints about taxis sucking and you get the general gist of why I hate clubbing. Maybe I should try something else that's slightly more enjoyable and also involves alcohol. How about I replace the venom in some cobras with tequila and see what happens? Sounds a lot less painful and probably has better music.