Fashion's Fight Against Common Sense

In my daily wanderings to and from work, I observe many things. A lot of them baffle me.

Right now the one that baffles me the most is how many fashion trends just don't make sense. They look bad and look incredibly uncomfortable or at the least inconvenient.

The most obvious current example of this is the standard "fashionable" approach to belts. Instead of using them as a practical little tool to keep your pants from slipping down and revealing far too much ass crack, I tend to see a lot of women parading about with hipster jeans and if they're wearing any belt, it's up somewhere around their mid-riff like some sort of giant leather waistband. The kicker is that when these women bend over/sit down/take any action, their pants slip down, revealing a very unsexy portion of their ass crack, or at the very least a less than spectacular view of their underwear.

I even spied one girl who had take this to the extreme, wearing hipster jeans and a way too small tank top, showing off her somewhat podgy midriff. In the middle of her midriff there was a huge belt. So her clothes went something like this: top - inch of flesh - giant belt - inch of flesh (including ass crack) - pants.

So very not sexy.

Another one that baffles me is puffy shoulders on shirts. That doesn't look cute or nice or anything it just looks stupid. There's no practical reason why it's bad (unlike the belt trend) but really, puffy sleeves just aren't for the win.

Yet another strange fashion trend that simply looks stupid but isn't exactly impractical is those skirts women tend to wear that instead of stopping at a logical place like the hips or waist, go either to the bust line or in most cases, stop somewhere up along the lady's ribs. The part that really gets me about this one is that it looks like they've gotten into a long skirt and decided they wanted to show off some thigh. . . so just kept pulling the thing up until they were showing enough leg.

These are usually coupled with thick straps to hold it in place, so it's more of a design flaw than user-end stupidity. But the thick straps only add to the retarded nature of that look if you ask me, making them look like a dress/overalls combination (and we all know overalls are the height of fashion) where the wearer has decided to tighten the straps as much as possible so that if they were wearing traditional overalls, they would have a gigantic wedgy.

Don't even get me started on anything emos wear. That's just too easy of a target, especially those long net glove things.

Men are not exempt from stupid fashion trends, although luckily because out clothes tend to boil down to shirt plus pants, it means that there is a lot less variations that lead to retardation.

The most obvious target (as obvious as emos and just as easy, but I feel it warrants mention anyhow) is anyone out there who hangs their pants below their ass. I don't want to see people's $2 KMart underwear and it really just looks like you were taking a dump and forgot to pull your pants back up afterwards. Moreover, I've tried this myself (in the spirit of inquiry) and discovered that it's incredibly uncomfortable because it feels like your pants are constantly falling down.

Only one thing can explain how that trend became popular though, because it's largely coupled with baggy pants, I believe that the reason a lot of moronic males wear their pants so low is because that is how far they fall before they can do up their belt to stop them going all the way off. It's the only reasonably explanation.

That or people who dress to fit fashion trends are complete and utter morons.

In other news, Bunny Puppy shall make his triumphant return in the near future. If I ever bother to get Photoshop again.