Your Car Says A Lot About You

It's common knowledge that your car says a lot about you, and because I'm trying to find myself something with 4 wheels and a working engine to run into signposts and trees, I've been putting a lot of thought into the subject lately.

See, normally I just don't care about cars, they get you from A to B and that's all there is to it as far as I'm concerned, but on the other hand there is the whole "masculinity thing". Which I like to think of more as your car being a representation of your penis (unless you're female, expect in rare unfortunate circumstances rarely seen outside of hentai). So here's my breakdown of different vehicle types and what they really say about you.

Utes: Big manly vehicles, indestructable, they just keep going and going and going and going and going. There's plenty of fun to be had in them, but you're really driving it around to impress the lads, ladies aren't likely to care about the size of your car in this case because you're busy parading it in front of the guys trying to impress them.

Sports cars: Low to the ground and will give you the ride of your life, but they'll almost always run out of gas before you've finished having your fun. They're all about image and won't truly satisfy you.

SUVs: They should be the same as utes, rugged machines built to really show off your manliness. But then soccer mums found out how roomy they are so instead of bringing out the image of the sporty man willing to adventure into the unknown, any guy driving it is likely to be a middle aged married man tied down with 2.5 kids and a dog, not very exciting and you'll probably feel a little guilty about using it.

Drifting Cars: They're small, normally pretty weird shaped and do some crazy things. Like many things out of Japan that you find lots videos on the internet about it looks like it could be fun and if you give it a try you might get hooked and not be able to go back to normal driving, but on the other hand just like the other things you see videos about it can just leave you feeling feeling sick.

"Chick cars": Those girly little cars that no manly man would ever be seen dead in. They may not make your cock look big, but there is probably a reason why women prefer them over those overtly masculine vehicles. If you ask me, that reason is probably because they're reliable, do what they're told, get you exactly where you need to go (provided you know what you're doing) and will go until they get there. Plus they can normally do a few neat little tricks too.

So all in all, if you're looking to get a car to make yourself look good, don't bother, it's saying more about you than you think. If you really want to impress, ignore the machismo and get yourself something that shows you're in touch with your feminine side.

Odds are you'll save money on gas too.