Genocide is FUN!

If video games have taught me nothing else, and they haven't, it's that if you make things bright and colourful with a happy sound track you can get away with anything, including mass property destruction and genocide.

You can destroy whole continents, squash endangered species and abduct small children, and once you're done with it shoot the collected mass with GIANT EYE LASERS! OF DOOM!

You see, Jane came round yesterday the ease my emoness, and we spent a good amount of time playing We Love Katamari. A game I bought ages ago, had lots of fun with then completely forgot about until yesterday.

With all the shit people give videogames about being a bad influence of children, teaching people to murder and in general being the cause of all evils in the world (aside from America's need for Arabian oil and conspiracies involving Jewish movie producers) . . . I can't believe they missed something so unabashedly evil. Awesome for sure, but evil.

Sure there aren't guns to teach children how to shoot (because movie an analogue stick and pressing a button is just like firing a sniper rifle, and using a D-Pad is just like driving a car) or make them want to beat up hookers with baseball bats, so it is a less obvious target. But it doesn't really make a big deal of hiding the fact that you are rolling up entire cities merely to please the king of the cosmos, who (if not entirely pleased with your efforts) will shoot eye lasers at your happy little ball of destruction, turning whole ecosystems into stardust. Pleasing the king doesn't exactly help your victims either, they get flung into space to form a new planet, enjoy your lack of oxygen children!

I think it was the soundtrack that stopped people from thinking it was evil, something so happy and random just can't be evil. Nothing in the history of the world has ever masked evil behind a happy facade. Ever. In the history of the world.

Ever.